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-:- childhood memories-:-

:: unlocking those toddler years i'd almost forgotten ::

One of the first major effects I felt with salvia was being rushed back to my childhood, to extremely early memories that had been locked away until being released. At first, textures, colours and sounds were visible that were strikingly late-1970s in every aspect of their experience. Later more detailed memories emerged, rolling by in the repeating space that forms the first surge of a salvia journey: a time in a Spanish couple's apartment in Barcelona when I was three years old, textures of bannisters and staircases from a house I lvied in when I was two, the sound of my mother singing along to her loudly played Abba records when I was four years old...

But stranger still was the appearance of a little forest glade that felt ever so familiar. I knew it belonged to someone, but that someone was too shy to reveal themselves. The next voyage I took was with the express intention of meeting this unseen presence, and at length s/he revealed themself to me. Later still s/he revealed her name to be Alixir and said that someone would know who s/he was - on various salvia forums I asked around, and attached a sketch:

Last night's besagement put me in contact with this child. S/he stood and watched for a while, and then said that someone else had seen hir, that they might know hir. S/he just stood there in the whirling space, simply looking, almost staring in the way that young children do stare. Then s/he ran away - perhaps scared, perhaps just playing - through the forest. I felt s/he either had three legs or hir legs were blurred in the rolling salvic space. S/he slipped 'away sideways, into another reality' and I saw hir no more. Anyone any ideas...?

One person said it might be the group energy of the lost child within us all. It seemed reasonable. Another person said she recognised the presence as Alyce, an androgynous representation of herself as a child. That chimed really loudly with me.

I realised the forest was one near my grandmother's old house where we used to play as kids. Something stole over me that Alixir-Alyce was me as a child too. It made me realise, somewhere deep in us is the innocent archetypal toddler, incapable of lying, a bit shy and blown away by the world, but delightfully pure in intent once engaged...

...and the number of responses I eventually received from people demonstrated that salvia can uncover that child with remarkable clarity and ease.

:: Alixir-Alyce ::

Welcome, welcome,
Young one,
Won't you tell me your name?
I will tell you mine
For I trust you

With my essence
And in that trust
There is my love

For you
And there is

My remembrance
Of who you are


how much is in my head
and how much of it is real-in-my-head...

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